


Four minus one

by KaneNogami



Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2548199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaneNogami/pseuds/KaneNogami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Late birthday present for Yuuto~<br/>Nuts OT4. After learning about Hase's death, his boyfriends cope as they can. Or perhaps they only pretend to do so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four minus one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cestlavieminako](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cestlavieminako/gifts).



The past would never completely be forgotten. To some it was a relief, although none of these three shared these views. To force themselves to continue to exist was challenging, almost distressing. The flat they found was a small place, with white walls they felt the urge to cover with anything bright and colorful they found. Jonouchi was the one who suggested pictures, not ones of the teams or anything that big. Individual ones they took for fun when they had a reason to smile. Or even a couple of the four of them together. Soon, each of them was digging through his phone and they printed each thing they found until the white was barely visible. That was not quite like saying goodbye nor acknowledging everything was over. Probably closer to an in-between. They didn't want a single picture to cry in front of in a corner. That would have been boring. And these three wished to shine, despite the fact their light had been taken away such a long time ago. 

Mornings were difficult sometimes. The bed was filled and yet terribly empty. They used to be bundled against each other until no space was left and bruises ended up appearing from all the hits they gave each others by mistake. At least most of the time. However, they knew what happened by now. Hase had not left on his own will. None of them would ever run away (again), they had this small comfort which was not even one. Difficult to forgive someone who had done nothing wrong. Hard to erase the way they had all crushed him. Laughter, mockery, they had been cruel to ensure their own place at the top. However, the world had tricked them from the start and for that they could not do a thing. 

Thus, when they didn't know what to do with themselves as the sun rose, Zack tickled his boyfriends. Laughing at the way Hideyasu tended to fall from the bed in panic each time before shouting nonsense at his boyfriend, half-asleep. And Peco started to giggle and then to laugh so loud the neighbors were probably frightened. Good. They couldn't have cared less. The world caused them enough damage each day. They were allowed to enjoy themselves a little. Their laugh was not cursed. There was nothing remotely cruel in the way they used their tongues. Silver or black.

The proofs of Hase's missing presence were sparse and not quite visible right away. Holes in clothes which were not repaired as the sewing machine was left in a corner, small and covered in dust. Jonouchi stared at his shirt for a while, sighing in defeat before throwing it in the trash. He was going to have to buy a new one. No more smell of a pizza taken fresh out of the oven after exactly fifty minutes of cooking when Peco begged for them to cook together. Let's be better than Kaito, he used to say. Now his friend was gone too. Wrestling matches for the remote between the two tallest of the bunch were a distant memory and sometimes Zack got bored of flickering between the channels. He did not even enjoy to watch television that much. 

Their touch had become more possessive though. Neither of them paid close attention to it despite the fact it was evident that they were worried to some extend. Nothing would be completely safe again (not that it had ever been the case). Jonouchi glanced at Zack's leg from time to time, cringing mentally each day the other was too reckless. Too early for stairs, too late for tears. He kept trying to stop him for a while. Even once he was healed. Don't dance too much, he ordered, his voice loud and clear. None of them was allowed to let his dreams shatter. His lover's laughter was loud when he leaned against the other, almost making him fall.  
“I'm okay.”

Peco stole the only lockseed left when he felt like doing so. They went to train without him sometimes, just to stay in shape in case of some catastrophe happening. So he took what he wanted, enough to stop them, and he crawled under the covers, clenching it against his chest. They would lose time. Even if the culprit was evident and, when they sat on the bed, exposing his mischief, he could only glare. Jealousy was still visible. Protecting was kind yet they were meant to share too. Foolish boyfriends who considered that throwing their lives away was fine as long as the world was saved. Zack's breath was quick when he leaned forward, kissing him roughly. Peco had grown to dislike kindness once again. They ought to be strong without becoming blinded by the rest (it was a shame he couldn't do that properly yet).  
“Come with us if you want.”  
As if that could excuse everything. He often sat up, fingers getting tangled in dark hair to the point he was pulling on it. The lockseed was freed by Jonouchi, who pried his fingers away from Zack only to kiss them.  
“Whatever.” And then they would get out, the three of them. Hands tightly gripping each others until their palms were burning and their knuckles close to turning white. 

Endless free cakes were brought home by the one who was starting to be able to make things which were edible. The Baron kids never claimed it was delicious in fear of boosting Hide's ego a little too much (Hassy used to call him Hide sometimes, only in private, so they did the same). However, working with Oren offered him stability and he was fine this way. The money they got from his job was a nice bonus too, although everyone participated in paying the bills. Zack had a family who couldn't have cared less about him as a person yet they cherished his existence enough to fund everything he was interested in. Away from the person, close to the heart. Their youngest member was less keen on being an active member of the household yet he kept getting small jobs, running from one side of town to another. Perhaps he wished to prove that he would not make the mistake of only relying on others ever again. 

From time to time, one would forget to send the money and the flat ended up dark during one night or two. Before, a fight would have erupted but by now, lighting candles and telling stories about the past, facts and fiction mixing up, was acceptable.  
“Did I tell you about this time where Hassy got chased by a dog and he ripped his pants on a fence while escaping it? I still have the sensational memory of his boxers with little rubber ducks on them in my mind to this day.”

Many wished to leave the town. Half of the time, those came back. Yet none of them had expressed such wish. Not when there was so much to do already. Baron couldn't function properly without its leader and sub-leader and Charmant was a central part of Jonouchi's life. They belonged somewhere.

 

The posters put for the missing ones from Zawame were still here, even months after. One day, they stopped in front of it, staring at the familiar picture. Their grocery bags suddenly weighted heavier as the three young men averted their gazes with an impressive timing. Had it been such a long time already? The wind had scattered a couple of the posters and some were on the ground, with no one to put them back. People gave up on their loved ones upon understanding there was no more hope. The trio was lucky (no, the word was disgusting and Peco grimaced) to know about Hassy's fate. At least they could grieve properly. Excepted that they were not quite doing it and the poster was still there.

“We should...” Jonouchi found himself unable to finish his sentence, finding difficult to swallow out of all sudden.  
“Yeah.” It was complicated to figure out where they were meant to do. Yet, there was no reason to allow it to remain. Zack took a step forward, as to suggest he was willing to do it. Although a hand pressed against his chest stopped him.

Jonouchi's expression was not as calm as he would have hoped. As he had put the poster up, it was his duty to take it off. Or so he wanted to believe. Perhaps to offer himself something close to forgiveness. Using his free hand, he gently freed each corner, not daring to rip it off in one go. He might have messed up. Have you seen this man? He read in his mind, pressing his forehead against the wall during a couple of seconds.

Maybe he should put it back.

The sound of a bag falling was heard behind him and he found himself out of breath as someone forced him to turn around. Ah, of course, Peco's eyes were shining with fury, although the boy did not know what he was meant to do. Comfort had never suited Baron after all and Peco acted on an impulse most of the time. Usually, Zack the one meant to put everything back together with his rough, and yet more friendly, nature. The younger one pressed his lips together until they formed a thin line. Perhaps he noticed the way Jonouchi's eyes were gleaming behind his glasses by now.

“Hide, let's go home.” Behind them, Zack run a hand through his hair. He was holding the bag his lover had dropped a few seconds before alongside his own. None of them would be fine right away. Jonouchi recalled reading a book about grieving, only to consider it useless and ridiculous. There was no use for stages of acceptance or anything similar.  
“I'd like to but someone is pressing me against the wall.” The pitch of his voice kept changing, to the point it was worrisome. He was supposed to have learnt control by now.

No one within the trio was extraordinary unlike their friends in the end. Most of these were either heroes and martyrs and them were ordinary, without any evident talent on a battlefield. Yet, they had been willing to go as far as they could. Tacticians. Was it a synonym for betrayal? The memory of Kaito was still present on Zack's head and he closed his eyes, only to remember that the ground under his feet was real (sometimes he felt like he would fall off a building if he didn't pay attention enough).

The arm which was blocking Jonouchi was removed abruptly and Peco opted to grab his hand instead, no willing to sever the contact between them right away. Although, to achieve that, he had to remove the paper from his lover's hand. “We should keep it.” The boy requested, observing the poster which was now standing between his fingers. “Let's cut it and keep only the picture. He's not missing anymore.” No, he was not. Ryouji was gone, and that sounded much more damaging than missing. They had gotten an answer, yet it was one they had feared from the start. The doubt had been there for months already. Still, after everything, they had told themselves they could believe a little, that perhaps something good would finally happen. They were merely more than fools.

Nothing wrong with that. 

“We will need a new wall soon.” Jonouchi commented, trying to appear distanced. He guessed it was a positive thing, to have covered a whole wall. Because, if they kept adding new pictures, it meant they were still alive. 

Zack's long fingers stole the poster from Peco, who let out a loud sound of protest, especially when he was handed his bag back. With a frown, the teenager accepted it, sticking his tongue out at the tallest one a couple of seconds later. There was no real protest though. And the way the picture had moved from one person to another was probably their way to show they were all here. Even if neither of the boys could ever become their missing ones. Better this way, without a doubt.

The walk home was oddly silent and nobody felt the need to start a conversation. Instead, once they were in the middle of their flat, Jonouchi grabbed the sticky tape while Peco was armed with scissors. The picture was carefully cut though. They couldn't damage him another time. Then, as the tallest one, Zack was able to put it in the middle of a small free space. They had not meant to do this on purpose but this old picture was surrounded only by recent ones, mostly representing the quarto turned into a trio standing together. Proud gazes and mischievous smiles. Still, there was always an empty corner they couldn't fill. So they tried to overcome it as they could. By appearing brighter than before. 

By holding a diploma in the middle of Charmant, eating a meal together at the bottom of a magnificent tree, or even with a dance trophy at a regional tournament.


End file.
